Dry skin – Body

I suffered with eczema and dry skin conditions for years, on and off, from around the age of 7 to 20 years old. Whilst my staple was a cortisone cream from my doctor (as well as a stiff bush to scratch with as the itching drove me fricken insane!), I decided to research, create and test my own cost efficient, pantry ingredient ideas. Plus, I was a teenager, I had no damn money! I had to raid mum’s pantry since she wouldn't buy me the expensive prescription cream all that often.

If your skin is just dry and flaky, lightly use a dry loofah or better yet, a dry pair of exfoliating gloves and scrub your skin prior to jumping in the shower. This will break down and remove dead skin cells. If your skin is irritated and rashy, avoid this idea and move straight onto the below.

A warm (not hot - Hot water destroys the skin's natural oil - the very thing we're trying to rebuild and protect here) bath with a squirt of oil (preferably coconut, olive or apricot oil) soothes and repairs dry skin. Olive oil from the supermarket would probably be the cheapest option here.

If you don’t have time for a bath or you’re not a bath sort of person, keep a bottle of oil in the shower. I keep a 500ml bottle of coconut oil as well as a 500ml bottle of almond oil in my shower. I’ve included fragrant oils in both bottles; 1 is rose and the other is CK One inspired. Kodys Candles has an insane range of fragrant oils to choose from, from fruit, candy and food fragrances to well-known perfume imitation fragrances to themed fragrances such as kiss & tell, butt naked, better than sex cake, beer and bi-polar . Not sure what they’re meant to incite within you, but hey, be adventurous and stink like beer! Give 'em a go! – No, I am not affiliated with Kodys Candles in any way, so I am not fiscally driven to pedal their products. I’m simply an impressed consumer of theirs and am on my 5th large bottle of Calvin Klein inspired CK One.

By applying my oil mixtures in the shower (after loofah-ing, massage oil in then rinse moderately), I keep rancid looking dry skin at bay and I smell pretty. This is all very fortunate given that I am too lazy to apply a moisturiser after my showers. 

Beware! If you’re not looking to get a mauling from your ramped up boyfriend/husband/friend with benefit/pervert neighbour, do this when you’re home alone or they're glued to their X-Box pwning noobs or bitch-slapping on GTA, and are too pre-occupied to notice you naked, wet, lathered up and oiled, not to mention smelling spectacular! 

On the other hand, if you’re looking for some action…